I have to be honest again and say that I've been struggling with my fleshly desire to wallow in my sadness and the need to walk everyday in God's truth and grace.
Because the truth is there is no time to spare on this earth for my self-pity or wallowing.
Here I am with a hope and a future and billions of people all over the world live each day without it.
Most days this isn't a struggle for me, but as we draw close to February 23rd, my brain keeps reminding me that it will come and go as just a regular day.
There'll be no visit to the hospital, no labor pains, no anticipation or joy of holding her for the first time, no comparing her face to John Owen's.
February 23rd will just be February 23rd.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Most men live lives of quiet desperation."
As I've walked this journey ordained by God, I've often thought of my past and ways in which I may have hurt others with my careless words or my lack of speaking to their pain and sorrow, my ignoring it because it wasn't mine.
In my own desperation, I feel like I'm drowning in the emptiness and ache that is always with me.
But then the truth of the Gospel sounds clearly and loudly--I have a hope in Christ. This life is merely a journey and one day (hopefully soon) it will be over and my eternity will begin and in my eternity my tears will be wiped away, my emptiness filled completely, my ache removed, my heart healed.
As I walk this journey on earth, there will be days when I'm swallowed by my grief, but I never have to end my days in the depths of despair. I have only to look up and see that He counted me worthy to suffer that He may be glorified in this world.
And that is something to rejoice over.
No comments:
Post a Comment