The Waiting Place

"...The Waiting Place...for people just waiting.
       Waiting for a train to go
       Or a bus to come, or a plane to go
       Or the mail to come, or the rain to go
       Or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
       Or waiting around for a Yes or No
       Or waiting for their hair to grow.
       Everyone is just waiting.
  Waiting for the fish to bite
  or waiting for wind to fly a kite
  or waiting around for Friday night
  or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
  or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
  or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
  or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
  Everyone is just waiting." Dr. Seuss

We are somewhat in the waiting place.
Our documents are in Ethiopia. I'm not sure what's happening to them now.
I don't know if they are being processed or if they are just sitting on someone's desk.
Regardless, we are in the waiting place.
Sometimes it's hard--as waiting is usually hard, especially when we're waiting for something
AWESOME!

Our time frame changed yesterday---it went from an expected 12 month wait for a referral to a
10 month wait.
This is really exciting! This means that if we have to wait the entire ten months, we will have a referral by June of 2012 and that's not too far away!

You may wonder, "Why is the wait so long? Aren't there like over 4 million orphans in Ethiopia?"
Well, yes, yes there are.
BUT and it's a big but, lots of things have happened in the world of inter-country adoption.

1. Child trafficking and exploitation. (You may or may not be familiar with this, but it's a serious problem in our world and sadly, many children adopted from other countries weren't brought home to loving families; they were used as sex slaves or just house slaves.)

2. How do you determine if a child is truly an Orphan? (Unfortunately, not everyone agrees on this. UNICEF (You know they come around with little boxes at Halloween) has a say in this process, as do the individual countries.
Specifically in Ethiopia there are many children who have not been cleared by government officials to be adopted. This has slowed the process in Ethiopia.

3. The closing of Orphanages. (UNICEF went in to Ethiopia and closed many, many orphanages and those children were sent to other orphanages, which are now overcrowded. Those children's documents have to be looked closely before they are released for referral or their already in process adoption is completed.

These things have contributed to the slowing of adoptions and referrals in Ethiopia.

We must be mindful and faithful to pray for orphans everywhere and to support countries as they work hard to protect children from exploitation.

My heart grieves to think of the many children who are now in slavery to someone or the sex trade.

I know that God will give us a referral when the time is right.

While we're in the Waiting Place, we'll be faithful to pray and prepare for our new son!

Adoption is war. Satan doesn't want these children placed in loving homes.
But God is more powerful and with the power of the Holy Spirit, we (as believers) can make a difference in the world of the fatherless.

The Art of Contentment part two

In Philippians, Paul speaks of contentment and even states that whatever his circumstances, he has learned to be content.

Chapter 4, verses 11-13 are quoted often when referring to difficult circumstances.
I think if you look back closer to the beginning of chapter four, you'll find a nugget of wisdom and perhaps the answer to truly being content whatever your circumstances.

In verse 8 he says, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

Now, some might say that there are circumstances in which there is nothing worthy of praise, there is nothing honorable, there is nothing good to think on.

But I think if we take this verse and another verse in Colossians then we get an answer to our contentment issue. In the third chapter, second verse, Paul writes, "Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth."

These two verses together give us an answer to our contentment issue.

Regardless of our circumstances, if we CHOOSE to think on the things of heaven, on the things of the Lord, then we will have something true and honorable and just and lovely and commendable and excellent and worthy of praise to think on.

And as we all know, our lack of contentment begins in our heads when we begin focusing on what we lack or our less than perfect circumstances.

Ultimately, I think we have to decide if we really believe God's word.
And if we do, then we have to live like we do.

I will say from experience that this is easy to say and hard to do.
Just like athletes train for races or events, we have to train ourselves to finish our journey is this life as we look to the next, eternal life.
It's that thought that makes the pain of losing my daughter easier to bear because when I think of the life that is to come, she is there.
And the first time I see her face, I will never have to say good-bye to it.
In that I can be content to live with this present pain because compared to what my days in eternity will be like, it is just for a day.

The Art of Contentment Part One

Contentment is something most people strive for.
Usually we think about contentment when we aren't content.
It usually goes something like, "If I only had this... or if I were in this place...or if I wasn't here..."
Sound familiar?

We may think of contentment as a lofty aspiration and something that only really wealthy or
incredibly aged people have.

I've met quite a few people who are in their eighth decade and are quite discontent with their lives.
They long for the times when their bodies were healthier or their minds were sharper or their families lived nearer.

Perhaps it's the longing for things not obtained that produces this lack of contentment.

But what if the exact spot we're in in our lives this day is exactly what God intends for us?

What if we chose to live in this day instead of looking at this day and deciding that it's not right because we don't have everything we want or desire or wish for.

It'll require a change in perspective. What if a Jeep with no air conditioning on a 100 degree day is exactly what I need? Or if a bank account that has enough, but not much left over. Or I'm single. Or I'm childless?

I was forced to think about these things a year ago when I was pregnant with our daughter and we learned that she would not live after birth and then a month later at five months pregnant, she died.

Many people said that I only had to believe and ask God for a healing and miracle and it would happen.
I prayed for a miracle.
I believed it could happen.
It didn't.

When she died, I remember feeling and even saying to a friend that I wasn't ready to let her go.

So how do I marry that God gives us exactly what we need when we need it and the fact that my heart wasn't ready to let go?
Seems like a contradiction, right?
If getting pregnant with a baby that was going to die was exactly what I needed and what glorified God the most, then why did it hurt so stinking much?
For that matter why does it still hurt?

The answer isn't simple and I'm not even sure I fully understand it myself.

I have to go back to the beginning---to Genesis when Adam and Eve had everything they needed in the Garden and through deception they introduced sin into the world.

I am a child of Adam, but through Jesus Christ, I've been adopted into God's family.

Because of that adoption, I can carry a child that is going to die and be at peace through the pain that this is indeed God's best for me.

For that matter I can continue to live everyday after her death knowing that God did what was best and it's in that changing of my perspective, that dying to my deceptive emotions and feelings, that focus on my Creator and the life to come that I can choose to be content with whatever my circumstances are.

Family Dates

Life's a busy roller-coaster. Not many people say, "Man, I just don't have enough to do today."
Our life plates are usually overflowing making us look like that person at a buffet who seems
to think he won't eat again this decade.
So how do families find time for each other in the midst of life's chaos?

Family Dates!

Many couples designate a certain night of the week as the infamous DATE NIGHT.
I'm fan and think this is a Good thing.

But often we forget how fleeting the time we have with our children is and we never set aside a night,
or part of a day or even an hour as a Family Date.
Maybe we just don't think about it, but I think it's as important as the sacred DATE NIGHT.

We take Family Dates.
Not every week, but usually a few times a month.
This doesn't mean this date is the only time we spend together, but it's
special.
We do something special or silly, like go get an ice cream or go the park or
go to our favorite pizza place downtown.

They're usually nothing expensive, but it's time that we put our cell phones away and
really focus on our family.

I know I'll treasure those dates as much as I treasure the ones with my husband because
I know my time with my sweet boy is fleeting. One day I'll wake up and he'll be grown and moved away busy with the chaos of his own life.

A Family of Unseen Faces

We set a date---a family date.
There are no highheels and fancy clothes on family dates.
There's just ordinary clothes and everyday shoes.

We may visit the park
or just get an ice cream or two!

We don't set high expectations
We only desire that we are all together.

For now there are only three
But all around us are the whispers of the
unseen faces
that all belong in this family.

Three are those that have gone ahead
Already living in the life that's to come.

One (the loudest whisper) has yet to
join this family.

Yet, he's there and we wonder
What he looks like
What he smells like
What his laugh sounds like.
If he'll like us and maybe one
day love us.

For now, we have our family dates with only the
hope of him.

But soon, we have the reality of him.

Until then...

we wait.

Colors

Colors are everywhere.

We usually have a favorite or favorites

And think it sad when someone can't see colors

Because they miss out the beauty of things.

We teach our small children or are taught as small children to

differentiate among colors.

It's an important skill that we must master.

We also are taught to notice sameness and differentness.

Another skill considered of great importance.

At some point in our education though, we acquire the habit of 

Prejudice.

We begin to think that Round is significantly less than Square

And Tall is better than short.

Or that white is greater than black,

though white is really the absence of color and not like black at all.

It is our pride that causes us to do this.

You see God doesn't make such distinctions or make such declarations.

And He's the creator.

He's the one who first called round, round and square, square

and tall, tall and short, short

and white, white and black, black.

So, yes, there is differentness

but not

betterness because of our size, or height, or skin color.

For God loved All the world...All.

Birthdays, Colors, and Waits

John Owen Thurman will turn a grand two years old in exactly 14 days!

He's lived A LOT of life in those almost two years.
He knows how to say the letter "A" and how to count to 3 and if you ask him what his name is, he'll
say, "Me!"
He's had almost ten haircuts, visited nine states, fallen an innumerable amount of times, swam in the ocean and pools.
His best friend is his dog, June. She's a black lab.

He loves fruit and juice and especially Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. (They are his favorite!)
He's learning to use the big boy potty.
He still sleeps in his crib.
He makes me smile, laugh, cry, and want to scream all in the same day.

He is my third child of four and the only one I have been given the privilege to walk this life on earth with. (The others I'll see in eternity.)

I treasure my time with him and know that he is on loan to me.
I try everyday to drink in everything about him, even the temper tantrums and hard-headedness.

He has a brother in Ethiopia that we haven't met yet!

We hope to meet him soon.

But until we do,

We wait...