Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Eclipsed by Glory

Originally published September 20, 2010
"All of a sudden I'm unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory. And I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me." DCB
I have a playlist. I have many playlists, but this one is special. It's untitled. All the songs reflect God's glory. One song in particular, David Crowder's "How He Loves" is one that I hear daily. The line above struck me yesterday as significant.
I am eclipsed by glory.  Through this journey I'm realizing how beautiful God is and  just how much He loves me.  What knowledge?! Costly, but priceless.  I don't wish bad things upon any of you, but I wish you could know what I know every day. I wonder if you know God. If you know that His word is true--that His promises aren't empty. They are true--that His grace is MORE than sufficient.
Sometimes I think how crazy it is that I'm talking about the things I'm talking about--memorial services, the last breaths of my child, recording every second of this journey. Never in a million years did I think I'd ever think through these things. Who does, right?
I have a conversation with God every day. It goes something like this:
Heal Lord. You can give her a brain. You can reform her right now--anytime, right before she's born. You can fix this. I believe Lord. I really believe.
All she needs is a brain, like the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz, but I'm so thankful that God isn't just some little man masquerading as a wizard. He's real. He's alive. He's a part of my life.  Even if He doesn't give her brain. Even if He doesn't fix it, what a joy to walk this journey with Him.
What a joy that people celebrate Ella Grace's life with us!  Friends have given us sweet gifts to help us celebrate this special time.
Last week, I put Ella Grace's ultrasound picture on the dresser in John Owen's room, which would be her room too.  What a joy to show him a picture of his sister and to put her name in blocks next to his! To be able to tell him one day of the greatness of God and how He carried us each and every day through this journey.

Can you see her in her picture?  Later in the pregnancy we'll have better pictures, I think.

I had to include John Owen's.  It's an old picture of him, but they are together on the dresser.
Thank you for walking this journey with us. We feel your prayers everyday. I hope God is becoming more real to you everyday, like He is for us.
I pray we are all eclipsed by God's glory whatever our circumstances are.
We love you all!
I decided to include the song for you to hear.  It's really quite beautiful. Here's the link on Youtube for the official video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCunuL58odQ&ob=av2n It's a funky video, but you can still hear the song.

No comments:

Post a Comment